When Christians Quarrel: Resolving Conflict in the Church (Part 4)

Matthew 18:15–20

Your first step is to tell them. The second step is to go personally. And the third step is to take some wise Christians with you. He puts it, "But if he does not listen, take one or two others with you, that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses." Deuteronomy 19:15 (KJV) has it: "One witness shall not rise up against a man for any iniquity or for any sin." No doubt Matthew had that saying in mind.

But in this case you don't take others along to prove wrongdoing, but rather to help the reconciliation. It may well be that we are the ones, and not the other person, who is wrong. Hate often develops against those whom we have wronged or who have wronged us. It sometimes is so that we just can't say or do the right thing to resolve the conflict ourselves. There are always those few saints who can work reconciliation. Jesus called them peacemakers.

If we talk things over with a wise person, that person can often help us see ourselves as others see us. The rabbis had a wise saying: "Judge not alone, for none may judge alone save one (That is God)." The third step is to ask for help.

"Father forgive them," were Christ's words —words of sharp contrast to the words of the world. Louis Ubtermeyer in Heinrich Heine: Paradox and Poet describes the spirit of the world: "Forgiving was not Heine's business nor his speciality." "My nature is the most peaceful in the world," he wrote with deceptive mildness. "All I ask is a simple cottage, a decent bed, good food, some flowers in front of my window, and a few trees beside my door. Then, if God wanted to make me completely happy, he would let me enjoy the spectacle of six or seven of my enemies dangling from the bottom of my heart, for we must forgive our enemies. But not until they are hanged." 

However, these are not words of a wise Christian!

Questions to Ponder

• Have you ever asked another Christian to help you be a reconciler?

• Are you a peacemaker?

• Are you willing  to see yourself as others see you?

In His Service,
Terry Phillips