When Christians Quarrel: Resolving Conflict in the Church (Part 3)

First, if anyone has wronged us, we should immediately put our complaint into words. Second, we are advised to see the person in person.

Jesus says, "...go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone." And then he adds the beautiful thought, "If he listens to you you have gained your brother."

If we have differences with someone, Jesus said to settle it one by one. It seems to me that Jesus is warning against writing letters and all such things. To write a letter can bring on more misunderstandings, while Christians can deal with each other face to face.

Humans who are in Christ can deal with each other differently. Being aware of our own shortcomings and still having God's forgiveness, we can deal with each other in a compassionate way allowing forgiveness. Knowing we also make mistakes, we can allow others the same privilege.

Emery Parks tells: "When the books of a certain Scotch doctor were examined after his death, it was found that a number of accounts were crossed out with a note: 'Forgiven-too poor to pay.' But the physician's wife decided that these accounts must be paid, and proceeded to sue for the money. The judge asked one question: 'Is this your husband's handwriting?' When she replied that it was, he said: 'Then there is no tribunal in the land that can obtain this money when he has written the word Forgiven.'"

Jesus says to go personally - a letter can be misread and misunderstood, and it can convey a tone which it never meant to convey. Jesus adds this: "If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." That's a beautiful picture! We make the effort to take the first step—go in Christian love and there is a bonus in it for us! We have a brother or sister! Those with whom we have struggled and resolved conflicts become the most precious of all to us.

Our purpose is not to humiliate or condemn, but to gain a brother or sister—to gain him or her for friendship and for the church of Christ.

Roy A. Burkhart told this story. One day a boy went out of his home to do something that his parents felt was wrong. He was involved in an accident and lost both legs. It was a terrible blow, but his father told me one of the most beautiful stories I have ever heard. He said, When his mother and I saw him in the hospital cot lying there aware that he had lost both legs, he said, "Will you forgive me?" They both ran up and hugged him and said, "Of course; we have already forgiven you." And he answered, "Then I can live without my legs."

The first step Jesus advised was to tell them. The second is to go personally. 

In His Service,
Terry Phillips