When Christians Quarrel: Resolving Conflict in the Church (Part 5)

Matthew 18:15–20

The fourth step—according to Jesus—is, if all fails, we must take our personal problems to the Christian fellowship.

It is true that within the Christian fellowship, conflicts can be resolved, if at all possible, by not going to law or by Christ-like argument. Legalism seldom settles relationship problems, but often drives them deeper. 

What Jesus means here is this: It is in an atmosphere of Christian prayer, Christian love, and Christian fellowship that personal relationships may be set right. It is clear that Jesus makes a big assumption here: that our fellowship is Christian, and that because of that, we judge everyone not on legalism, but in the light of love. He puts it, "If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church."

So  that's the fourth step, tell it to the church. The fifth followed right afterward: 'If he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to  you as a Gentile and a tax collector"(Matt. 18:17)

The advice to treat him as a Gentile and a tax collector seems like very tough advice from Jesus. If you don't succeed. Jesus advices to treat the person as a Gentile and tax collector.The first impression here  is to give up and treat the person as hopeless and abandon him  or her as irreclaimable. However, Jesus never set limits to human forgiveness. Remember what he told Peter? We must forgive seventy times seven. 

William Barclay reminds us in his commentary that when Jesus spoke of Gentiles and tax collectors, he always did so with sympathy and gentleness with an appreciation of their good qualities. "It may be that Jesus was saying something like this: When you have done all this, when you have given the sinner every chance, and when he remains stubborn, you may think he is no better than a tax collector and Gentile. Well, you may be right. But I have not found tax collectors and Gentiles hopeless. My experience of them is that they,
too, have a heart that can be touched, and there are many of them like Matthew and Zacchaeus, who have become my friends. Even if the person is like a tax collector you can still  win him, as I have done."

So this Scripture does not say to give up. In fact, it challenges us to win the heart—the hardest heart!  It tells us that Jesus finds no person hopeless—and neither must we.

Reinhold Niebuhr, in The Irony of American History, writes, "Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime: therefore we must be saved by hope. Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone, therefore we are saved by love. No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as it is from our standpoint. Therefore, we must be saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness."

Sure, we'll have conflicts within the discipleship, our congregation, the church. Sure, it'll be tough resolving them. But our Savior tells us ways we can do it; we should do it; we must do it—if ours is a Christian fellowship and we are Christian.

1. Put your complaints into words

2. See him or her in person

3. Counsel with othrer wise Christians

4. Make user of the Christian fellowship

5. Never give up the try 

Questions to Ponder

• Should not the fellowship of every church be Christian? 

• Should we ever give up on anyone?

• Is any person hopeless? 

In His Service,
Terry Phillips