When Christians Quarrel: Resolving Conflict in the Church (Part 2)

Matthew 18:15-20

The first rule Jesus gives us is that if anyone has wronged us, we should put our complaint  into words. One of the  biggest mistakes we make is not to voice our hurt. To just brood about it can be fatal. That can poison our whole life until we can't think of anything else but our own hurt. Our own personal injury becomes the whole center of our lives.

A lot of times, just voicing such a hurt helps, and Jesus knows that. He said, "...go and tell him..." Many times, just putting our disgruntlement into words will help us put it into the proper perspective. It may even seem trivial and a lot less important when we do this. There are so many times when we just must not suffer our hurt in a sort of brooding silence. That's the worst thing we can do. The first rule that Jesus gives us to resolve conflict is: tell it, speak it, get it out into the open.

Irving Stone, in Love is Eternal, concludes his narrative account of Mary Todd and Abraham Lincoln with an interview between Mrs. Lincoln and Parker, the President's guard. Parker entered, a heavy-faced man with half-closed lips. He trembled. "Why were you not at the door to keep the assassin out?" she asked piercingly. Parker held his head. "I have bitterly repented it. But I did not believe that anyone would try to kill so good a man in such a public place. The belief made me careless. I was attracted by the play. I did not see the assassin enter the box." 

"You should have seen him. You had no business to be careless." She fell back on the pillow, covered her face with her hands. "Go now. It's not you I can't forgive; it is the assassin."

"If Pa had lived," said Tad, "he would have forgiven the man who shot him. Pa forgave everyone." 

Questions to Ponder

• Do you tend to brood over things in life that have hurt you?

• Is carelessness ever justified?

• Are you willing to forgive everyone as did Mr. Lincoln according to his son?

In His Service,
Terry Phillips